I'm dating a library

I spend a lot of time in places like this. It's a great place to play hide-and-seek with strangers and they can't yell at you, because you know, "shh! in the library". I've also found that anyone who happens to be following you usually stays clear of pulling into a library. It's also a pretty good repellent against those rich-white-republican hominids (christ don't even get me started). I also like wandering the long aisles like these and seeing nothing but books (delicious!) and the few people you do happen to run into are just as bat-shit crazy as you so no need for that god awful uncomfortable eye contact like so many morons insist on when walking down a sidewalk. Nope, in this place I can stack a tower of books in front of me to make the perfect wall, sure it makes seeing a little difficult (fucking impossible), but a small price to pay for actually not having to communicate with someone because society requires us "to be nice to the asshole who calls out an old lady for crossing the street a little late holding up traffic, and to the one who pushes his expectations on a young girl to preserve the shape of his chair cushion by not leaning to side of the seat, and oh yeah, especially that one over there yelling at his daughter for laughing too loud". If libraries were people I'd buy them balloons and sing songs about mythical unicorns and hug the shit out them because they'd be, like, the most awesomest people alive!

where water dances with sky

I found myself stressed-the-hell-out last week. To the point that while driving (sitting) in traffic I began yelling obscenities at other motorists (including myself) in different languages and, oddly, I don't even speak another language. Well, this was a pretty good sign I needed to reset my perspective on things more important than me and my little world.

So I headed North to the mountains and drove 7,000 feet upwards to where They say that the water dances with sky. Of course I didn't believe Them until...whoa shit

There was nothing I could say when I reached this spot. So I didn't. I just sat there in absolute awe and did nothing more than just breathe.

Needless to say I have, once again, been reminded as to how powerful and kick ass life really is...

excuse me do you sell kittens? oh, just hard liquor - well, that'll do...

I've got a little side project with myself to start taking videos of my daily life as an exercise to dive into myself. I definitely have been feeling, in every which way, stuck and have been spending a lot of time staring at youtube videos of people recording their daily "daily". So I charged up my little android knock-off with a whopping 1.5 m/pxl camera and started recording. So far, I'm enjoying it and watching them back at night is making it very obvious that I'm really not happy where I am in life (esp work). I don't know if I want to put them up on youtube or just leave them on my desktop, but I do like making them and they've been taking me to interesting places like, well, here...

the articulation of self

We take a breath; we expand (as we do is as the universe then does).
We exhale; we contract (as we do is as the universe then does).
The potential for enlightment is everything in between.

Uncup your hands let everything you've been holding so tightly in your fists
just fall to the floor.

Now your hands are free to hold someone else's :-)

a new perspective

I spent the day behind a computer in an old office building in Los Angeles. It's something I do every day. Things I take for granted, small, ridiculous things like leaving the parking garage at the end of the day usually go unnoticed because I'm always pressing forward about the next thing I've got to do, or if there are going to be a lot of people in the turning lane on San Vinnie Blvd on my way home. In either case, I am never thinking about The Now especially when I'm exiting the parking garage. So today, as my new conquest to experiment (and hack) life (hopefully mine) I took my camera and snapped a picture of this ridiculously banal parking garage hoping it would force a new perspective on me. Well, it did. And as I made myself quiet inside and looked around at the parking garage I did, in fact, see it in a new way. This picture is that moment.

silence is very powerful

when I'm at work, usually in a meeting, I will remain utterly silent unless a question is directly asked towards me. I always count to 3 before I answer to make it seems like I'm in deep thought (I'm not of course, I'm just counting to 3) then when I do answer I make it as short as possible being very careful not to use the words 'umm', 'like'. If I don't know the answer to the question I always say I don't know and throw out a hypothetical answer like 'well, if Jake did unplug the server it would stop working' because that is the obvious answer that people don't want to hear in meetings. the rest of the time I'm silent. no interjections, no jokes. I only listen and take notes of what people are saying. I take notes because, otherwise I would fall asleep. no kidding, I've done it before. so become silent and then even more silent and just "listen" to what is going on around you. people hate silence it reminds them of their parents or something...

on impermanence

everything that has happened and will ever happen has already. we are merely here, in this moment to feel the sand pile on to the tips of our toes be formless water