Sunday, January 26, 2014
I'm dating a library
I spend a lot of time in places like this. It's a great place to play hide-and-seek with strangers and they can't yell at you, because you know, "shh! in the library". I've also found that anyone who happens to be following you usually stays clear of pulling into a library. It's also a pretty good repellent against those rich-white-republican hominids (christ don't even get me started). I also like wandering the long aisles like these and seeing nothing but books (delicious!) and the few people you do happen to run into are just as bat-shit crazy as you so no need for that god awful uncomfortable eye contact like so many morons insist on when walking down a sidewalk. Nope, in this place I can stack a tower of books in front of me to make the perfect wall, sure it makes seeing a little difficult (fucking impossible), but a small price to pay for actually not having to communicate with someone because society requires us "to be nice to the asshole who calls out an old lady for crossing the street a little late holding up traffic, and to the one who pushes his expectations on a young girl to preserve the shape of his chair cushion by not leaning to side of the seat, and oh yeah, especially that one over there yelling at his daughter for laughing too loud". If libraries were people I'd buy them balloons and sing songs about mythical unicorns and hug the shit out them because they'd be, like, the most awesomest people alive!