well, well, well...look what I found, my old blog! wow I have absolutely no idea how I came across this. I was clicking on an old bookmark and viola I was somehow magically logged into Blogger (which I didn't even know still existed!). But what's even stranger is that for the last couple of months I've been seriously thinking about working on a major transformation in my life (again) and had no idea where to even start. I figured having no direction in my mind I would start documenting everything until things became more clear. well, I guess this is the place to do that. A good thing for sure.
so what have I been up to for the last 6 years? Oh, I dunno - just stuff. been working in the same field and around the same neighborhood, although I've moved twice since the last posting. I guess 1 small success is that I've only gained 7 lbs during that whole time:-) I weighed myself this morning at 208.6.
I'm back here because this blog is more pertinent now then it was then. before I was focused on losing a few pounds. Today is a much different story. the reason I've come back to perform a hat trick on my life is because I was wandering through the Salvation Army thrift store on a saturday night, 8pm, holding a 7-11 coffee in one hand and a used (and very broken) Nerelco razor in the other. I walked through the furniture section and came across my image in a mirror on a hutch. now depending how you look at this, I was either at the top of my game or that bottom of the barrel (from my perspective that night, it took longer to figure this out than I'd like to admit) but there I was in the mirror. a middle aged, fat, bald, dude drinking a 7-11 coffee in the salvation army listening to Bruce Springsteen's (ooh ooh ooh I'm on fire) song. and thinking 'hmmm - apparently I'm having a momentous moment here' and epiphany of sorts. what raced through my mind, simultaneously, was 'well, here I am living life on my terms doing the things I enjoy doing' & 'aw shit - it's happened hasn't it? I'm That Guy hanging out in the Salvation Army on a saturday night because I have no idea....' and you can guess which conclusion surfaced.
So here I am again, at the helm of my transformation. I will say this though, that after 6 years not much has changed. In some respects that's awesome (ie, I'm not homeless). In another regard, this stagnation has been terrifying because I was supposed to be in a much-much different place than where I am today (financially, spiritually and creatively). Since I have no idea as to how I'm going to get to where my dreams keep telling me to go, then this blog will be the catalyst until I can figure some shit out.
And to my future self, when you sit down 6 years from now to look back on how you pulled this all off, well you can read this knowing that you are now where you are today because of this exact moment. You're welcome.
